THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 19: OFF BALANCE.

Many people love me. Probably more than I think.
Many people appreciate me; see me as some sort of good-hearted selfless human.
People I met in the past; people I have not seen in a long time, people I used to have differences with, people who with I created great memories.
But somehow… Somehow I’m turned into this now. Into this off-balance “something”.
My scales are broken; hell, I don’t even know where to put what.
I am a professional in destroying my own happiness, in sabotaging every slight sign of a better me.
Yea, that’s what I do.
I can’t see the vast amount of good people around me. I just obsessively focus on the disconnecting kinds out there, those lost souls overproducing complicating feelings and situations.
Of course, why wouldn’t I? After all, I am the selfless, good-hearted human, aren’t I?
I can help them, I can put my heart on the line to help them become better. I can let them grow power on me; me, the good-hearted selfless compassionate giver. I can save them.
Off balance.
Saviour complex? Abandonment trauma? I’m not sure, but that’s how this works.
Or doesn’t work.
I don’t know.

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