I may have dreamt it. It’s said that the brain cannot actually distinguish between real and fake memories, it treats all as it is commanded. So, if you really believe something happened when in reality it didn’t, the brain will fully convince all of your consciousness that it did happen. That all those details are… Read More THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 20: THE THINGS I COULDN’T DO FOR YOU
Many people love me. Probably more than I think. Many people appreciate me; see me as some sort of good-hearted selfless human. People I met in the past; people I have not seen in a long time, people I used to have differences with, people who with I created great memories. But somehow… Somehow I’m… Read More THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 19: OFF BALANCE.
At least that’s the only way I have ever known.There is no magical spell or prayer strong enough; or miracle or surprise.When it hurts, it hurts.And no matter how hard you try not to feel the pain; no matter how much you knock yourself down with over-sleeping, over-eating, over-thinking… the torment won’t let you breathe.Each… Read More THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 18: THE ONLY WAY OUT OF PAIN IS THROUGH IT
I can’t really remember much. What was of me before the chaos? When exactly did the chaos start? I can’t remember. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to remember. Maybe it’s because my brain cannot distinguish between what really happened, what I felt that happened and what my nervous system kept inside its cells as… Read More THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 17: BEFORE THE CHAOS
I’m not sure from who or where to run. I’m not sure where to hide. But that’s what I feel, and intense feeling of inadequacy. It is not worthlessness or lack of self-value. It’s unsuitability for the purpose of coexisting in this world. Or maybe for the “simple” fact of existing. I’m not sure. But… Read More THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 16: I WANT TO RUN AND HIDE
That’s nothing new. Sleep has become just a yearning for me for the past ten years. It may actually be even longer than that, I lost count of the so many sleepless nights. My problem is that the World is designed in opposition to how my brain works. I just don’t fit in. My brain… Read More THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 15: I’M AFRAID I WON’T SLEEP TONIGHT
No, I’m not talking about anything related to pancakes. I’m also not talking about the actions of demons or specters. I’m talking about this tendency to mostly feel unlit events in relation to people around me, including myself. What I’m trying to say is that this “Beautiful World” is, to my eyes, a different kind… Read More THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 14: CREPEHANGER