THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. PART II. The unhealed heart of a monster.

Hearts are a complicated matter.Physiologically speaking, of course.But I'm talking about the non-tangible aspect of it.As it is said, the heart is the place where feelings reside. Or should reside. Or better said, should awake.Feelings are learnt behaviours, they stay in the mind until they are triggered by an external event.The way I see it, … Continue reading THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. PART II. The unhealed heart of a monster.

THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 20: THE THINGS I COULDN’T DO FOR YOU

I may have dreamt it. It's said that the brain cannot actually distinguish between real and fake memories, it treats all as it is commanded. So, if you really believe something happened when in reality it didn't, the brain will fully convince all of your consciousness that it did happen. That all those details are … Continue reading THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 20: THE THINGS I COULDN’T DO FOR YOU

THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 19: OFF BALANCE.

Many people love me. Probably more than I think. Many people appreciate me; see me as some sort of good-hearted selfless human. People I met in the past; people I have not seen in a long time, people I used to have differences with, people who with I created great memories. But somehow... Somehow I'm … Continue reading THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 19: OFF BALANCE.

THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 18: THE ONLY WAY OUT OF PAIN IS THROUGH IT

At least that's the only way I have ever known.There is no magical spell or prayer strong enough; or miracle or surprise.When it hurts, it hurts.And no matter how hard you try not to feel the pain; no matter how much you knock yourself down with over-sleeping, over-eating, over-thinking... the torment won't let you breathe.Each … Continue reading THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 18: THE ONLY WAY OUT OF PAIN IS THROUGH IT

TONIGHT

Be quiet It's ok Embrace yourself tight Allow your tears flow And your fears come Allow to feel nothing And to break, To lose control Don't be scared to be fragile, my love You are one with your sorrow, yea that's right Stay quiet It's ok Silence brings healing Stay and wait, Stop and breathe … Continue reading TONIGHT

THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 17: BEFORE THE CHAOS

I can’t really remember much. What was of me before the chaos? When exactly did the chaos start? I can’t remember. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to remember. Maybe it’s because my brain cannot distinguish between what really happened, what I felt that happened and what my nervous system kept inside its cells as … Continue reading THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 17: BEFORE THE CHAOS

THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 16: I WANT TO RUN AND HIDE

I’m not sure from who or where to run. I’m not sure where to hide. But that’s what I feel, and intense feeling of inadequacy. It is not worthlessness or lack of self-value. It’s unsuitability for the purpose of coexisting in this world. Or maybe for the “simple” fact of existing. I’m not sure. But … Continue reading THE UNSPOKEN WITHIN. DAY 16: I WANT TO RUN AND HIDE